I have definitely been through the testing of my faith lately with the death of my father.
The funny thing is doubts about God tend to come when we are feeling little struggle. For a true beleiver, there is actually a deep comfort that cannot be known except in the darkest of times. When I watched my father deteriorate and endure great pain, I was comforted that his faith did not waver. Comforted that mine did not.
James tells us to count it as a joyful thing when we go through these miseries. Because, the result of pushing our faith through fire, is a confidence that shows up in the midst of endurace. This confidence is not easily felt without a backdrop of pain.
I do now understand that it can be “worth it” to go through such junk. The result is definitely valuable.