Ancient News Flash — NT Wright and the Kingdom

This humorous bit was written by a group/list acquaintance of mine — John Shakespeare.  He has given me permission to reprint it here.

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Flash!!

Passover: Jerusalem: Year of Herod 30

Rival news agency, Reuters, reports that ‘Fox‘ has got it all wrong.

According to the Reuters religious and political affairs spokesperson there has been a ‘monumental mistake’ in Fox‘s reporting, both of the original comment by Jesus of Nazareth, and of the alleged actions of the Palestinian authorities.

Our reporter interviewed a Nicodemus Wright, a political commentator, who was in the room and heard what Jesus actually said. This Wright, who is noted for his good hearing, and who was present to witness Governor Pilate’s interview with Jesus, said that what Jesus actually said was, “My kingdom isn’t the sort that grows in this world. If my kingdom were from this world, my supporters would have fought to stop me being handed over to the Judaeans. But it’s not like that. My kingdom isn’t the sort that comes from here.” Afterwards, in an interview, Wright added, “Jesus didn’t say, ‘my kingdom is not of this world.’ That would imply that his ‘kingdom’ was altogether other-worldly, a spiritual or heavenly reality that had nothing to do with the present world at all…The point is that Jesus’s kingdom does not come from ‘this world’…Jesus was denying that his kingdom has a this-worldly origin or quality. He was not denying that it has a this-worldly destination. That is why he has come into the world himself.”

Our correspondent says that unfortunately a manuscript has already gone into circulation alleging that Jesus was received favourably by the authorities. The manuscript was written at the behest of Herod (also known as Fox). Fox/Herod wish to give the impression that Jesus is concerned only with enabling people to go to heaven when they die. Commentators suggest that Herod’s real concern is that his own position might be fatally compromised by an actively political agenda on behalf of Jesus, and that, like Joachim the Dipper before him, he could easily cause trouble with the common people. Herod has already had enough trouble from Joachim and those like him. He has therefore issued his Fox press release as a means of preventing trouble before it happens.

Events now unfolding in this city show in fact that the authorities are very alarmed by this Jesus as his teaching and his presence are perceived as constituting a real political threat. Governor Pilate has been very worried that the Judaeans might use this Jesus as an excuse for armed rebellion. The Judaean authorities are concerned that the upheaval caused by this Jesus might lead to the Romans clamping down on their limited independence and perhaps even give them a pretext to enter the temple, believing it to be the centre of rebellion.

At the moment, things are looking pretty bad for Jesus of Nazareth, as the Judaeans and the Romans are for once in agreement in their fear of him.

More later, but now we take a break for this special feast-time Sabbat.

For Reuters
Joachim Shakespeare

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One Response to Ancient News Flash — NT Wright and the Kingdom

  1. Brian says:

    Very funny.

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